The It Factor | Pretty Boys Need Not Apply

I don’t know what else you call it. So I’m using “it” to define that special trait that I’ve come to adore in my friends.

I’ve experienced most typical ups and downs of relationships and if I could create a magic pill or hand book I would. Unfortunately or actually I should say fortunately, one size does not fit all when it comes to solving lovers’ many complex issues.

I am learning more and more what is ideal for me to maximize my happiness as well as what I bring to the relationship. I’ve decided on the dynamic personality that is most appealing to me. I used to think that “momma’s boys” were annoying. This is what we consider a man who was very closely raised by his mother and has a tendency to be very attached to her; or likely to want you to make all his decisions. I’ve realized only recently that that is a horrible generalization; especially since most of us want a man who loves his mother and respects women.

I used to think that “pretty boys” all thought they were God’s gift to women and would always try to make me feel like I was lucky just to be in their presence. I soon realized that their fake bravado was actually a cover for their insecurities. No it’s not the black, or the hispanic; not the light or dark; nor heavy or slim; not the educated or hardcore; nor the geek or biker that I see major differences in.

I can only put my finger on one defining characteristic that makes my heart flutter no matter the package or delivery and that is the constant ability to be happy for, appreciate, bless, honor and be proud of your friends in spite of how you are feeling about yourself. Sound simple and easy doesn’t it? Well it’s not apparently, because we live in a world full of haters. A world where a woman can’t walk through the mall without other women saying, “ewe, she thinks she’s cute.” A world where men, set their girlfriends on fire out of jealousy and others abuse their wives because they earn more money.

We all go through ups and downs, feelings of insecurity, loss and even depression in life; but you can only bring value to my life and help motivate me to excellence if you are not tearing me down whenever you feel low. You must be able to see the greatness in others and celebrate their success even when you are stuck in your own rut. This is also a great way to help dig yourself out.

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