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From Evernote:

Forgiving Is The Remedy for Disappointment

Watching “Comeback Season” made me think about a phenomena of love, that I have myself experienced and had the opportunity to coach others through.

When a man break’s a woman’s heart, and if she does the work to forgive and heal; there may come a time to draw from that very growth and bless the one she was hurt by. When he wakes up and realizes what he’s done and what he’s lost, he will inevitably return to demand his position, denying any real harm. After claiming and demanding does not work, then comes regret and sadness. As a friend and one who loves him, the very woman he scorned is the one to help him acknowledge his choices, forgive himself and focus on healing. This doesn’t happen without humility…and doesn’t happen at all if there’s no real forgiveness. But if there is any real substance in both people there can be some major growth, even if they chose not to get back together.

This is not just a lesson for women, and not just relevant in a romantic scenario. A young woman was treated horribly by colleagues and never stood up for or defended by her supervisor; although behind closed doors the supervisor leaned on her for council. Eventually the scandalous colleagues created a mess that caused the entire team to come under scrutiny. They very conveniently blamed their scapegoat, and although the supervisor knew that it was not her fault, she allowed her to take the fall. During the termination process the supervisor could not hold back tears and repeatedly expressed regret and sadness. Weeks later the supervisor had to call the terminated woman to get her input on a matter. It was then that my friend was able to help her acknowledge where she dropped the ball, forgive herself and consider making changes to improve her own career.

Our lessons, even the painful ones are no longer ours after we learn from them. They are not just for great speeches, and blogs, or for lecturing friends. Great lessons built on and lived out, over and over until they are given freely to all who are willing to learn them.

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